Well, I'm not sure this one needs all this airtime, but I cut/pasted Zac's syntax into a php document, then ran it under Xitami using php4 on Win98, first with single quotes, then with double quotes, and it failed both times with exactly the same error as Zac got.
So I checked on php.net's annotated manual, in the 'include' page, and found that someone else has noted that include 'or die' does not work. Hence my earlier post.
Still, given that Zac hasnt replied to these posts, I guess he's not that bothered by the problem anyway!
Happy Christmas from a cold and rainy UK!