My friend had the same problem.....I "probably" have a solution or a piece of solution.
is Your SMTP server connected to your SMTP provider ? B'coz, your message will not be sent if your provider don't know your existance. Where i was in school, i've a lesson 'how to link to a SMTP provider...' (or something like that, i don't know the exact title....) The best solution is to use your provider's SMTP in your PHP config .....
PS:I'm sorry for my poor english. Maybe you don't understand me....sorry....