just found my own anwser
here's what I plan to do for anyone who encounters the same problem:
first make php parse .xml document for safety (if the document is viewable trough http)
<?
//using output buffering...
ob_start();
include('my_xml_file_with_php_code.xml');
$data=ob_get_contents();
ob_end_clean();
//parse $data ...
//$data now contains my xml data, buth with the php code parsed! <- that's what we wanted 😉
?>