Well, if the date fields will always have leading zeros (ie you would get 2002-01-01...) , then you could simply do this:
// returns '2002-11-14 12:00:00'
$date = /*routine to pull date from db*/;
$year = substr($date,2,2);
$month = substr($date,5,2);
$month = substr($date,8,2);
echo ("$month-$day-$year");
If there is no leading zero, ie dates come out looking like 2002-1-1... then you will need to have a slightly smarter search routine. Something like this would work without leading zeros (and with leading zeros...)
// returns '2002-11-14 12:00:00'
$date = /*routine to pull date from db*/;
preg_match("/^\\d{2}(\\d{2})-(\\d{1,2})-(\\d{1,2})/",$date,$newDate);
echo $newDate[2]."-".$newDate[3]."-".$newDate[1];
As for inserting proper dates back into Access, there are a multitude of text manipulation options available in PHP. If you have a string that you need to slice dice, alter and reassemble, start looking through the string functions on the PHP site, it makes for good reading 😉
EDIT: oh for craps sake, no escaping in code?!?