Hi Liz,
In my experience, Flash can be good, but it can also be overused. A Flash intro with the ability to skip it is good -- I personally have no problems with that. Same with a choice between a Flash and an HTML site -- I like that.
I personally have Flash installed, and enjoy using Flash enabled sites, if they are done well. If a site uses too much animation, and adds things just for WOW factor, then I'm not too impressed. But there are a few sites out there that are well done:
Not bad, but no HTML choice:
http://www.itcatmedia.com/school/
Very good, choice of HTML or Flash, clean and neat:
http://www.zekestudios.com
Ugh! I just had a seizure:
http://www.heathrowexpress.co.uk/front.htm
Of course, these are only my opinions... I think the best thing to do is put together a good clean HTML site, then feel people out to see what you can do with Flash. Much of it will have to do with your target audience, too. If you are designing a stock information site for executives, they probably don't care about spinning logos. But if you are creating a MTV-generation clothing store, Flash might be the way to go.
Sorry that's not a very definitive answer, Elizabeth, but it's not easy to say. My suggestion would be to go to http://www.coolhomepages.com/ and check out their rated Flash pages. See how other people are rating them, and see what you like best. It's a start, anyway.
Good luck!
Edit: Ok, after rereading your post, I realize I didn't really answer your question LOL. My answer would be yes, I think Flash can be a good thing on your site, as long as you give users an "out." Some users don't have Flash installed, (and I have no idea how reliable AOL is when it comes to Flash. But if you give then an all-HTML option, then I think you are ok.
I hope that answers your question a little better.