Before you call someone names, you might want to consider the number of posts (i.e. contributions) someone has made to a forum. WeedPacket is something of a legend around here (2000 posts and some change).
If you have a specific problem with a program that you are having difficulty with, then post the portion of the program you suspect to have the problem.
If you don't understand some aspect of PHP, then phrase your question as such.
If you need help with SQL, there is a separate forum dedicated to it.
If you want someone to write you a program, contact a consultant and they'll name a price.