Sorry, guess I should have explained that. I have a port (5678) on my server forwarding to my box remotely, thus, my server thinks I'm logging in locally without security risk - I know what port to allow in.
Again, keep this in mind - my connection is working, so I know the port forward is working, because if I enter a bad username or password, it will tell me - only if I enter the correct un/pw will it allow me this far - however, I just realized that I can make NO mySQL statements, not just the one above, but all result in "supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource".
So, I can log in, but that's it - locally however, my script works fine...