ok
this is what I've got now
SELECT `id`, `name`, 'xSaraha' REGEXP concat("[[:<:]]" , `name`, "[[:>:]]") FROM `mytable`
If it's an exact match I get 1 otherwise 0
the documentation says it's
expr REGEXP pat
so, the datebase name column holds the pattern I need to match - ie Sarah - and the string from my form holds the more complext string ie "expr".
so, looking at the info for [[:>:]] I worked out it wasn't quite what I wanted as I wasn't searching for distinct words
tried this
SELECT id, name, "xSarahz" REGEXP concat("^[an]",`name`, "[an]$") FROM `mytable`
but that didn't work either.
Any more ideas anyone?