Thanks for the replies guys, to be honest I didn't really expect any from such a lame question.. Nice to know there are a couple of smarties on the internet who are actually nice 🙂
I actually jumped into my project with Sam's PHP/MySQL book at my side and have made a little (a very little) progress.
I used file() to read the file, but I think that might be the wrong approach in this case (live and learn) since I need to use the strstr() to delete all lines that don't contain the word "say" . Once I figure out how to make each line a string I think I'll be better off.
I'm sure my first 50 projects (if I hang in there that long) will be full of sloppy code, but I'll figure it out eventually. If not, I'll figure out a way to parse this log with an sh script using grep and then just use php to echo a random line from the resulting file.
Thanks again for the friendly posts guys. Much Appreciated!