Ok type this:
dpkg -l mysql-common
If you dont get something like:
Name Version
mysql-common 4.0.13-3
Then you dont have mysql-common installed. And you need to install it.
Excuse my forwardness but do you know about apt? I am seeing you manually installing debian files and rpms... etc. (You might have a reason but just in case I will explain more). A typical debian box's programs are installed through apt. So lets say I want mysql-common so I will say
apt-get update
apt-get install mysql-common
on the command line. It will go to a few known servers update a list of packages. Then install the mysql-common package. You shouldnt have to manually install anything. It will even tell you about dependency problems and fix them for you. If you do know about this, sorry to waste your time, if you dont, USE IT! It makes life a lot easier.
To answer you other question about RPMs. Yes you can install an RPM in debian. There is a package called "alien" it will convert RPM's too debian package files (.deb). But this is not a preffered way of installing programs.
As for why you are not able to connect to mysql through php I believe the problem resides in the fact that you need a bridge between mysql and php or a mysql.so under your /usr/lib/php4/ directory (might be a little differnet). To install this simply:
apt-get install php4-mysql
I hope all of this helped!