Well, there's the rub: it's not much good if I can get it working on my test server, but no one is hosting with Apache2 yet. Also, there was one user at bugs.php who reported the problem with Apache2 as well (though their report was kinda inconclusive).
I might try PHP4.3.4 for testing, but I fear this isn't widely supported by hosting companies yet either.
I just wonder if the problem lies somewhere beyond the scope of PHP or even Apache, as there aren't as many people with the same problem as I would expect. But it has been reported on Unix boxes too, so it's hard to imagine where to start.
My only hope from this thread is to find someone who's experiencing the same phenomenon, and maybe we can compare system spec's to narrow down the scope.
(Yes, it's the right php.ini - I only have one, and no PHP directives in .htaccess files either.)