still not 100% sure what the problem was, but i broke up all the field name to be on separate lines, changed the name of the 'key' field to be 'id_key,' and added a LIMIT 1 at the end, and voila, seems to be working fine.
$query = "UPDATE my_table SET " .
"field1=\"$newfield1\"" . ", " .
"field2=\"$newfield2\"" . ", " .
"field3=\"$newfield3\"" . ", ".
"field4=\"$newfield4\"" .
" WHERE id_key=\"$id_key\" LIMIT 1";
thanks for all the help, and if anybody can clairify what difference the line breaks make, I'd love to know about it -