Well, it wan't my script:
<kadmin@archangel> [/www/biz] [11:04]
% grep Internet birthdays.php
<kadmin@archangel> [/www/biz] [11:04]
% grep internet birthdays.php
So, as you can see, I'm not friends with the Internet.
However, in honor of its usefulness to me, I will sing "happy birthday" the next time my ISP drops me as the modem redials....