Ok I've tried moving the database from one server and installing on the other but I get the same result "lost connection" from the other website.
I have checked and checked google for problems with 'white space' and such. I have even created just a simple query and still have the same problem.
I added the wildcard to the server and also the www. address to the allowed hosts. I am totally lost with this, especially after it worked fine for a few hours when i set it up.
My last resort is to put the pages that request the info on the server where the db is stored, but would prefer not to do this.
At present I have the database on both websites but when records are added on the other site, it's going to take a lot of work to manually insert them into the other db.
Anyone with same problem? Any workaround?