1.) Almost everything is a script issue. And no matter what you say: improvement of code can really solve 90% of the problems.
2.) XAMPP isn't the best choice for an environment that you're going to have lots of load on. You're better off just configuring it yourself piece by piece.
3.) If you're doing lots of mySQL query stuff, have you optimized the queries? Have you checked the execution time? Is there a way to eliminate some of the while() loops by using predefined mySQL functions (like IN)? Once again, this goes back to code optimization and improvement.
4.) If you're going to be running this for a long time, and the browser won't refresh, how about an AJAX implementation of it? Let the server do its thing, let the JS wait for a response, and the JS can update the browser every so often with a nice little "Loading" thing.
5.) Do you mean crash as in "I have to start the system up again" or crash as in the page timed-out or the page can't be displayed? If it's a time-out/display problem, then it's not a crash, and ultimately this can come down to code optimization/improvement. IF you actually do crash your server, you need to rethink what you're doing as far as your code and how you're executing it.
6.) Nothing is really all that confidential. So we see bits of your code, you can obfuscate it so we see "SELECT a.A, a.C, a.D FROM table1 a, table2 b, table3 c WHERE a.A=b.C AND...." so we don't see the exact query, nor do we know what's returned. Plus, if done correctly, short snippets of the code will never be enough to disclose confidential information about someone or something. I work in the Healthcare field, and HIPPA breaths down our necks all the time. The loop-hole is not saying names or identifying information about the patient. Then you're free to say: "Oh, so this person rolled their car, had their guts lying about, and needed brain surgery, and died on the operating table yesterday." No identifying info, no breach of confidentiality. For all anyone knows, I made it up.
7.) You want help, but you're not willing to help us by giving us something to go on. For us to help you, we need to see some sort of code. Or some sort of really good description of what you're doing. It doesn't have to be detailed to exactly what info you're pulling, but detailed in that you say how you're pulling it. I don't care what project you're working on. Chances are we'll never meet. But you have to help us, in order to receive help on this board.
Help me to help you
Help me to help you
Help me to help you
Show me the Code!!
Show me the Code!!
Show me the Code!!
~Adapted from Jerry McGuire