Just copy the above function into something like... "new_functions.php" and save that in the "includes" directory where you installed PHP.
Then, look in your php.ini/.conf file for this:
; Automatically add files before or after any PHP document.
auto_prepend_file =
and add the filename in there. Next, look for something in your PHP config file called "include_path". Make sure that path includes the 'includes' directory, like so:
include_path=".;c:\php\includes"
Now, this is on my Windows server, so if you have Unix it'll be completely different.. something like:
include_path=".:/php/includes"