Yeah, never mind indeed on that, E. And wifey would have a say, too. She's zealously jealous (for 18 years now AAMOF).
IIRC, Mordecai's not far away either, though I think he's moved since he joined here. LordS has ties near here, but he doesn't say if he's in SW MO.
I suppose, if nothing else, we could maybe start a PHPOzarkia. I doubt we could get you, Chris, or Ben to come, but maybe we could camp out by my pond and tattoo "PHP Rox" on our rumps with a cattle brand after a wild night of quaffing $beverages and complaining about women or the lack thereof....