Hm..
Just a thought..
How about you store -say in your database- a random string whenever the iframe is to be loaded, and you use that random string to load the iframe:
<iframe src="page.php?code=$random">
</iframe>
In the iframed-page you check whether the var code = the stored one, possible linked to the presence of the proper parent.
Hard to spoof. Especially if you would link this to random variable names, stored in the database too ...
Maybe a bit over the top, but well.. If you are experiencing serious trouble..
J