mind you, im not suggesting its not POSSIBLE that a member of the Association of Jewish Ex-Servicemen and Women could help you, php programmers take all shapes and sizes.
however, i am suggesting that if one of the aforementioned once-serving jewish men or women did have the php skills to help you out, that they would probably say something along the lines of "php wont help you, you need javascript"
(this is all meant in the best humour possible :p 🙂)