Hi Chris,
I see you're new to the forum. They used to have a sticky on "how to ask for help" - the normal way to ask for help (though not always) is to say "hey I'm doing x and y doesn't work" - usually a very specific thing which doesn't work. If you keep your questions bite-sized and give all the code relevant to that SPECIFIC problem.
You are asking 3 questions and people would have to guess at helping you due to the ambiguity.
I can say that your HTML code has a problem: none of the <select> elements have name="gender1[2,3,etc.]" in them so I'm not sure how you could tie them into a database -
also, there about 9,398,285 different ways to take the form data you have (assuming you add gender1,2,3 etc.)
I hope I am being of help to you.
Samuel