Thanks big.nerd, your curl suggestion is a good one. (I tried to signup for experts exchange once, but never could get the login to work so I gave up on them.)
I did find some pretty good stuff at http://nadeausoftware.com/articles/2007/06/php_tip_how_get_web_page_using_curl
Here is the code I came up with:
$ch = curl_init();
curl_setopt($ch, CURLOPT_URL, 'http://www.url/of/my/xml/parser/script);
curl_setopt($ch, CURLOPT_RETURNTRANSFER, 1);
curl_setopt($ch,CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT, 1);
curl_setopt($ch,CURLOPT_TIMEOUT, 1);
$contents = curl_exec ($ch);
curl_close ($ch);
if ($contents != "") {echo $contents;}
It works so far, that is it displays the parsed xml, but it remains to be seen if it prevents hangups when the feed goes bad.
The problems with the feed during this past weekend are fairly well documented, but I just got a note from a user saying she had been having timeout-like problems with this site for a couple weeks, which more or less coincides with starting the ebay partner network feeds. I can't do anything about the problems at the source, so my choice is to display these feeds or not. I will see what happens.