(Granted, I'll also admit that such a situation isn't always avoidable; I have to deal with it in some form or another just about every single day here at work.)
'Tis life, I expect. With everyone hot-under-the-collar to go to the "cloud", it might get worse before it gets better; OTOH, hosting companies seem less reluctant to give you root if it's a hypervisor instead of a complete hardware box with a 5-minute reboot time.
I'm fairly fortunate that part of my hire-on discussion centered around moving some properties to a different platform; I got a say in it, and went with something I know quite a bit about (BSD on a virtual machine). So, I'm "boss" on those properties, and can solve most problems quickly.
With the "big" property, it's hosted on something they bought by analyzing marketing materials and reviews on the 'Net and so on. It's not terrible, but we do have to maintain good relations with a hosting company, and some of what Brad says about agendas and "specific needs" certainly rings with truth.
Now you're making me miss my jazz band days from high school.
Well, what do you spend your weekends on?