Wow -- I've faced this before, but circumvented the issue when the project was dropped.
You've got a couple of options, moving to Access/VB is one -- but hardly desirable. Now that MySQL is under the GPL, you might be able to package the contents of your database onto a CD, along with the Windows (or UNIX) versions of PHP and Apache.
Since you're probably going to a Windows platform, you can have the install program un-pack and install Apache and WinMySQL (though I'm not sure about its licensing) and PHP, then install your PHP scripts.
That's probably your best bet. There's not any way that I know of to access MySQL without access to ODBC or the web, and a filesystem (or CD) doesn't quite cut it.
Good luck -- let me know what else you find out!
--Anthony