The way to do it is create a multipart mime message with one part containing the HTML and another part called multipart/alternative that is the text equivalent of your HTML-enabled message.
Good mail clients that see this will behave properly and:
1. If they have HTML capability will just display the HTML-enabled message.
2. If they are not HTML capable (like Mutt), will display the text equivalent and indicate the HTML part as an attachment.
There is more in terms of explanation on how to do it that I have done above.
About your bouncing mails, you will need to pipe the bouncing mails to a script (preferably Perl) and you can parse the headers and do whatever (like unsubscribing people) you want. I assume you have full access to the mail configuration to do this. Also, I know this works for postfix, dunno about Windows mailers.
--Kartic