C'mon, let's be kind here, shall we?
PHP is the best because it's Open Source, which as we all know is The Answer to Society's Ills. (Bill Gates being the cause.) It's the best because it will bring light and truth to the mongrel hoardes. It will reform the heathen savages, and form orderly paradise from the disordered chaos in which We, the Programmers, dwell.
Oh ye ASP coders who are weary! Come unto PHP, and I shall give thee rest.
That's pretty much the sort of answer you're going to get. Us PHP/Open Source people can wax religious about our stuff. (And I won't even mention Perl. Oops, too late.)