Thanks for both of your answers!
I think this second option is going to work best, beacuse this server is such a disaster. Unfortunately, the sysadmin has no idea how to do anything at the command line level, but he's given me access to do so, not as root, but as the cobalt admin.
I can't seem to kill mysql -- the PID isn't one I can kill (owned by user "?"), and when I reboot the server, mysqld starts up, but doesn't write mysql.sock, so I can't get in to restart the server with the --skip-grant-tables option. I can't kill it from mysqladmin, either...how can I stop the server so I can restart it with the flag?
thanks again -- you guys are lifesavers!
--Brian