The download is 9MB because it installs Apache (3MB from apache.org), MySQL (9MB from mysql.com), PHP (1MB from php.net) and PHPMyAdmin (negligible). Getting all of the pieces separately would be even more than 9MB. In all, I'd say getting a fully functional installer in 9MB isn't too bad. I know that some of the other installers out there are smaller, but I'm just redistributing exactly what those sites are, just installing and configuring it.
Keep in mind that Windows is not the platform of choice for the authors of those packages. I happen to use PHP on 4-5 Windows machines and built the installer as a sort of backup for myself.
Your post seems to indicate that there was NO documentation on how to set the httpd.conf file settings. There IS documentation that comes with PHP and on php.net as well that details the settings to change.
Your post also seems to indicate that you have two distinct issues: it's difficult and you don't want to download that which makes it easy. I figured you'd seen the documentation at php.net and were unable to get it running, so I suggested one of the installers. Anyway, here's what php.net says for installing on Win32/Apache.
You must edit your srm.conf or httpd.conf to configure Apache to work with the PHP CGI binary.
Although there can be a few variations of configuring PHP under Apache, this one is simple enough to be used by the newcomer. Please consult the Apache Docs for further configuration directives.
ScriptAlias /php/ "c:/path-to-php-dir/"
AddType application/x-httpd-php .php
AddType application/x-httpd-php .phtml
Action application/x-httpd-php "/php/php.exe"
To use the source code highlighting feature, simply create a PHP script file and stick this code in: <?php show_source ("original_php_script.php"); ?>. Substitute original_php_script.php with the name of the file you wish to show the source of. (this is only one way of doing it). Note: On Win-Apache all back slashes in a path statement such as: "c:\directory\file.ext", must be converted to forward slashes.