Sorry again, rohit, you were right - a search for 'gd library' got the results I was after (boy PHP is making me feel stupid.)
One of the explanations I found told me to download a couple of files from download.swwwing.com, which I did and now have some even stranger results.
In my phpinfo file I now have a table titled 'gd', stating:
GD Support enabled
GD Version 1.6.2 or higher
FreeType Support enabled
FreeType Linkage with TTF library
PNG Support enabled
JPG Support enabled
Now he'll shut up, you all think 🙂
But no, installing the other version of php.exe had a side-effect : each php file (whether .phtml or .php) has the line
X-Powered-By: PHP/4.0.1-dev Content-type: text/html
at the top of the file, even before the opening html tag.
I think this is why I still can't get php generated images to work - because the program has sent this line of text before gd.php could even print the header.
I did a search on it (I'm learning) but none of the answers were very helpful:
1) Comment out the extensions - this kills gd, exactly what I'm trying to get working. With this solution, I can only keep php_imap.dll, php_ldap.dll and php_gd.dll, meaning GD doesn't work
2) Run PHP in quiet mode with -q - this means nothing to me.
For reference, I have php_gd.dll, zlib.dll, php_imap.dll, php_ldap.dll, php_zlib.dll, php_crypt.dll and php_libpng all running as modules.
Please, make the pain stop 🙂
— Matt